Growing up without you was incredibly hard. Many nights, I cried, thinking of you and the sweet memories we shared, which I still hold close in a special corner of my heart.
Yes, I’ve met others since you, and some are still part of my life, but you hold a unique place in my heart that no one else can replace. I wonder about your life now and have so many questions.
Are you happy with your career?
What are you doing these days?
Has anyone taken my place in your life?
Do you still remember my birthday? (Even if you don’t, it completely fine.)
Do you recall the times we laughed, cried, and fought together?
It’s okay if you can’t answer everything—it’s not your fault. Whatever you do remember, I’m sure they’re the best moments.
Even though I can’t remember everything about us, I still have vivid, beautiful memories. Growing up without you blurred some things, but those precious memories remain clear and cherished.
As kids, everything felt okay, even the distance between us, whether it was geographical or emotional. Moving to another state was tough, especially as an introvert. I remember the last time we met and said goodbye, thinking it might be the last time I’d see you, I cried a lot at the train station, throwing tantrums like the stubborn kid I was, as I didn’t want to leave. It was embarrassing then, but now I smile at the thought.
When we reconnected after getting our first cell phones, it felt wonderful catching up and sharing about our new companions. I remember playing with you, having childish arguments( if you remember, what a crybaby I was), and then quickly making up to play our silly games again.
You were my escape from unwanted crowds, boring holidays, and sad times. Whenever my grandfather said he’d drop me at your place for a day, I was the happiest kid, knowing I’d get to spend a day with you. Night stays were even more exciting.
But despite having each other’s contact numbers, we drifted apart. Maybe because we were so invested in our new teenage worlds and emerging friendships. I gradually started respecting your personal life and privacy, and I stopped trying as well. I don’t check your social media now, hoping one day you’ll call or text me.
I cried on two of my birthdays because you didn’t wish me. After the second time, I didn’t wish you on your birthday either, out of anger, but I don’t think it was okay for me to act that way. I know I sound childish about what I did, but I’m just being honest. I still somewhere feel that you are someone I can say out loud all my genuine feelings without getting anxious and feeling judged. Whenever I see my younger sisters play while totally lost in the bliss of their imaginary world, all I think about is us, all I see is the reflection of us.
I have so much more to say, but it might not make sense to you now. I feel like I’m just a past chapter in your life(We overthinkers, you know). But no matter what, you were, are, and always will be one of the best things that happened to me.
So dear, childhood bestie you are the first person who taught me what a friend is and I’m really thankful to you for this. Whatever ups and downs we have gone through have made us who and how we are now, but always remember if you ever need me I will be there for you no matter what.
Even if it feels like I’ve lost you, I will always cherish you and our time together. It always feels great to reminisce about those times and our sweet memories. If anything or anyone is at fault, it is time itself. I hope we can catch up again someday soon.
One more thing —
I love you.
